Why, yes, Jason, yes it has.
Wow. Three weeks on the "New Temporarily Fat Jason's Hero's Journey To See His Feet Without Leaning Forward".
I'm feeling good, physically.
My body is starting to change. Not massive changes, mind you, but changes nonetheless. I'm stronger in my body, and slightly in my will.
I still have my down days. Take yesterday, for instance. Weekends without the kids, when they're with Amy, are very hard for me. Very hard. I feel lost, and have trouble determining purpose for myself at those times. I find myself identifying with sad things.
I like the show Chuck. The show is basically about how a computer nerd 'Chuck' becomes a spy and lands the love of his life in the process. I've always identified in a small way with the character Chuck. I've seen many facets of myself in that character.
The series ended this past Friday for good. In the last two episodes, the love of his life, Sarah, lost the last five years of her memory. It was like her relationship with Chuck had never happened. She left him.
The parallels I felt were eerie. That, in a way, is how I feel with Amy. Like she has lost the last 13 years of her memory. Like everything that we did, everything that we had together, were meaningless.
It's those types of things that are hard for me. Trying to find purpose, find meaning. I'm getting there, and I've got a great group of friends that I know are behind me, and want me to do well.
That helps. Immensely. I would never have gotten through week 3 without Mike pushing, encouraging, and sharing his experience. I would have never have gotten through week 3 without Steph sharing my struggles and commiserating. Without Drew ready on a moment's whim if I needed him. With Stacey and the Colonel to laugh with and poke fun at each other.
I'm done with grandiose goals. There's only one goal I have now. I want to be a better me. I'm ready to succeed. I'm ready to fail.
I'm ready for the Hero's Journey.
It's time for me to make it my own. Everyone has their own Hero's Journey, I think. The lucky people get to realize it when it's happening. They get to seize it, write the narrative. I want to be the writer of this story. I hope I write it well.
I'm so excited for you! It's not often people grab a hold of their life and make it truly theirs. You're doing that and it's an honor to be a part of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being a huge source of encouragement for us too. A roadtrip is always better with friends!
Dude. This is inspiring. Dam I want to go outside and run 18 miles right now. F*CKING SH*T! Funny enough you are part of what is keeping me going whether you know it or not. I know I push you, but you are pushing me back by staying with it. Its circular in a not weird way :)
ReplyDeleteAlso want to add. Three weeks is usually the magic number. You are now fully entrenched in a workout plan. So congrats on that. Once I reach this point ( and I have as well ), I end up feeling like total crap if I miss a workout. It becomes part of your lifestyle and a bit addicting ( which is good ).
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