Santa Better Bring Me These Things, Or I'm Gonna Be REALLY Upset

I have a few modest desires on my Christmas list this year.

1.  Airwolf.  Yeah, bitches.  A STEALTH HELICOPTER.  Because, hey, STEALTH F-IN' HELICOPTER, MAN!  And not a toy one.  That's just dumb.  I'll need a mechanic for it too, because shit was breaking down constantly in the show (foreshadowing?  'cause Jan-Micheal Vincent hasn't held up too well.  Probably because he has two first names.  His parents' indecisiveness screwed that poor bastard.  Indecisiveness or plain presumption on their parts?  Did they think "Hey, this dude is gonna pilot the MOST BADASS TELEVISION HELICOPTER EVER.  Mofo needs two first names."  One just ain't gonna cut it.  Or they were French.)

Anyway, back to the mechanic.  I think the hot one from Knight Rider could fix me up, if you know what I mean.  Unless her parents gave her two first names and her face is all busted up now too.  Just not Ernest Borgnine, because, you know...weird.  Pretty sure Corpse Ernest Borgnine is a shitty mechanic.

2.  A Barn that I can angry-rage-dance in for when my girlfriend's father outlaws bad 80's dancing in my small midwestern town.

Of course, I probably need a girlfriend first.  And to live in a small midwestern town.  Pretty sure that image is from Footloose.  Although with that hair, it could be Hugh Jackman's Wolverine.  I don't remember Wolverine ever rage-dancing in a barn, though.  That would be the bad-ass-est barn rage dance ever though.

3.  Buck Rogers's starfighter from Buck Rogers.  The TV show.

Yup...pretty sweet.  Like...the angriest wedge of cheese with guns.  Guys that fly angry cheese wedges get to nail Col. Wilma Deering.

Uhh...whatcha lookin' at there Wilma?  See what I mean, though?  She likes the dick.  Even old guy dick.  He probably flies cheese too.  But he's older, so he doesn't get wedges.  Probably more like...loaves of aged Gouda.

French Toast

Is my favorite non-meat breakfast food.  With a stupid amount of butter.  But no syrup.  That ruins french toast.  It better be crispy on the outside too.

The Labor Day 5k Thing

On Labor Day, at Emerson Park, there was a 5k.

I ran it.

This is that story.

PART 1:  Will I or Won't I

I went to bed the night before not totally convinced that I would even be running the race.  I'd only been able to run once the entire week prior.  I had posted a good time that morning, but you couldn't say that I was at a peak level of preparedness.  It had been an extremely long week leading up.  Arienne had started her first week at OCC, with all the travel headaches that caused (anyone looking to donate a car for her...or contribute to the purchase of one...let me know).  I had also started a new technique for positive reinforcement for Seth, as the last couple weeks had been rough ones, behavior-wise for him.  It had gone OK at best.

Like I said, it had been a long week.

I woke up around 8:30 or so (I know, weird...very late for me).  The race had a 10am scheduled start.  I was still pretty iffy on whether or not I was going to run it.  My stomach was feeling a little goofy, and I just wasn't feeling it.

I texted Mike, asked if he and Heather would be running in the race.  He replied in the affirmative, so I decided to get my fat ass in gear and get down to the race.  I threw on an orange t-shirt (note to self:  time to get rid of the extremely-fat-guy t-shirts and move to moderately-fat-guy ones), a pair of compression shorts (my new favorite running gear), some mesh shorts over those, and my socks and sneakers (Brooks Adrenaline GTS 11...awesome for over-pronaters).

PART 2:  The Race, or, Is This What Shin Splints Are?

I hit the park around 9:30 or so, and went and registered.  It was only 10 bucks, which is probably the cheapest race I'll ever register for.  For that 10 bucks you got a t-shirt, a mug, some other crap, and they had refreshments and shit.  How this is a fund-raiser (for the high school's cross country team, I think) and is effective, I have no idea.  I went back to the car to drop the crap off and got my number on.  I was styling.

(This is a dramatization...I actually looked much better.  Probably.)

Yup.  Dead sexy.

Mike and Heather showed up a little bit later, got registered and did athlete-y things.  Like stretching and the like.  I sat in a rocking chair.  It wasn't the most comfortable rocking chair ever, but it was pretty nice.  For a rocking chair.  

The course started in front of the pavilion, out along route 34 or 38 or whatever that is, around the ball fields, back in and across to the island, out and around the parking lots and stuff there, back over the first bridge, out and back the first pier, across another bridge, out and back the second pier, around the beach and back to the pavilion.

So it was mostly cross-country, or at least running on grass, which was new to me.

Anyway, me and the 41 other runners lined up and got started.  I kept up a pretty good pace until almost the first bridge.  Just before that bridge, my left shin tightened up.  The muscle cramped, badly.  This was new for me, I had never gotten shin splints before.  Not like this.

It was painful.  By the time I reached the bridge, I really needed to take a walking break, but that hurt more than the running, so I kept it going.

Note:  Not to Scale.  Or Even Really Close to a Scale.  The bridge is actually bigger than that.  And my head isn't that disproportionately larger than my body.  I hope.

Once over the bridge, I took a walk break, which helped eventually, although the muscle didn't really give any.  It just throbbed less.  I made it around the island and back over the outer bridge and out the first pier (against the wind, yikes) and back.  I took my 2nd walk break there, a shorter one this time, and headed out the 2nd pier (yeah...still against the wind) and back.  My pace actually started to pick back up by this point, and I had started tracking a couple down.  Once we got to the beach, though, I slowed down to navigate the  sand, they did not.  After the beach was a loop back to the pavilion, where I would have caught them, but as one of them was a little girl, probably 8 or so, I decided to hang back and not rush in front of them.

I finished in 34:29.  And I wasn't dead last.  Damn near it, but not last.  I also beat my Race for the Cure time by over three minutes, so I was VERY happy with that, especially with that leg cramping.

(Mike took this with his phone.  There's the little girl I didn't beat, but could have.  Time to retire the orange moo-moo too.  Good lord.)

So, overall, I'm happy I decided to do the race, and happy with the time I posted.  It was a good time, and they had freakin' nectarines to eat after.  That was probably the greatest nectarine ever.

I spent the rest of the day grilling and eating and not showering.  I probably should have showered.  I didn't.  

PART 3:  I Only Labelled This Part 3 Because I Started This Whole 'Parts' Conceit And Really Should Keep It Going, Even Though I Realize It Was A Stupid Idea Now

Next race I think will be Seneca Falls.  I wanted to do that Mud Run in Owasco, but the registration fee is way too much.  The Seneca Falls run is October 6th and is only 20 bucks.  After that is the fateful Ithaca Race, which I'll cover in the future, most likely.  That's a special race.

That's all for now.  Thanks for reading.

For All My Game of Thrones Nerds

On Quitting Smoking

When all the stuff started going down with my marriage, I made a choice that I thought would help.  Amy had picked up cigarettes again, a habit that I had never shared.  But I thought that maybe, those little five-minute smoke breaks would be a way the two of us could share time, could reconnect.  Had I known at the time that she had already made her decision and was just stringing me along for whatever reason, I wouldn't have made that choice.  So I became a smoker.

Obviously, hindsight is 20/20.  I know now that nothing that I could have done at the time would have changed things, and all I did was saddle myself with a nasty and expensive habit.

So, I decided that last week I was going to quit smoking.  I had half-heartedly tried to quit before, but every time before I had put so much thought and energy into it.  It became a 'thing'.  It was too big.  This time, it came about Wednesday night.  I only had a few left in the pack that I had on hand.  I just decided I wasn't going to buy another pack.  If I could bum smokes from people for a little while, so be it, but I wasn't buying any more.

The last cigarette from that pack was smoked Thursday morning.  Early, around five a.m..  I did alright throughout the morning, and was feeling it finally in the afternoon.  I bummed one from a co-worker (thanks, Kim) around 3:15.

That was the last one.  I haven't had one since.

Friday was the hardest, easily.  I was VERY jittery, and short-tempered.  I came extremely close to caving in on it.  I tried to bum one from someone that evening, just so that I wouldn't buy a pack.  I even considered buying a cigar instead of cigarettes, as a kind of in-between step.

I couldn't bum one, and I didn't buy a cigar.  Friday night's sleep was tough, though.  Saturday morning was rough too, as I generally did most of my smoking in the early morning and late evenings.  But, with the graduation party to get together, I didn't really have a chance to think about it.  By Saturday evening, I was good.  All day yesterday I may have had one or two cravings, and they were easily dismissed.  I was still a little short-tempered, but not nearly as bad, and not jittery at all.

I will say, and I'm not trying to shortchange the experiences of other people, but I expected this to be harder.  Much harder.  A couple packs of gum, a good distraction (the party), and a little resolve was all I needed.  Ibuprofen helped, I had some headaches Friday and Saturday, but otherwise...this has been much easier than I expected.

Anyway, that's one thing down.  I did put on a few pounds this weekend, as I didn't really pay any attention to my diet while quitting smoking, but it's a trade-off I'm happy to make.

Farting on my Dog and other Fun Things

I really do enjoy farting on the dog.  The best is...HE NEVER SUSPECTS IT'S COMING.  I guess that should make it stop being fun eventually, but it always is.  He'll just be standing there, and I'll walk over and put my butt as close to his nose as I can.  He doesn't move.  And then, WHAMMO!!!  I blast one right in his face.  Man, that never gets old.  He starts doing that dog sneeze thing and rubs his paws on his nose, which just kills me.

That's really all I have to say about that.

Ok, time to talk about the elephant in the room.  It's been awhile.  I've been busy.  Really.  Big project at work, lots of stuff going on with the kids, some dating here and there, I've been busy.  That's all.  I also didn't really have a ton to write about.  Every time I'd try to start back into the Chalean Extreme program, I'd injure a knee in the sumo squats.  It didn't really leave me much.  I have been running consistently, so let's talk about that.

First thing I'd like to talk about is the upcoming schedule.  I have three races coming up that I am planning to do.  First is the September 1st Mason & Grant 5k right here in Auburn.  Basically runs around Emerson Park.  No biggie there.  Should be fun.  Second is The Finger Lakes Mud Run, which is a 5k with an obstacle course interspersed around the course.  I might be trying to get a team together, which would probably just do the shorter version, which I think is only 2 miles or so.  I'm not positive.  But I'm pretty excited for that one.  The last one is the Ithaca 5k, one that has a special meaning for me.  I don't really need to get into it, but let's just say that I should have seen the problems in my marriage with what went down the last time I tried to do this one.

On the running itself, I had been noticing some numbness in my left foot recently, usually starting around the 1.5 mile mark and getting worse.  As soon as I would be done with the run the numbness would go right away.  So I've done two things.  First, I switched to a parallel lacing method on my shoes, which allows more room in the toebox of the shoe.  'Toebox' is runner-speak for 'the front of the shoe', but it's WAY cooler to say 'Toebox'.  Try it.  'Toebox'.  It's like...if Robocop were a runner, he would have a big toebox.  Does that sound slightly sexual to anyone else?  All I have to say about that is, I need a BIG toebox.

What was I writing about?  Oh yeah.  Numbness while running.  This morning's run was one of the best ones I've had in quite some time.  I was really thinking about my form and my gait.  I noticed that I somehow tend to time my left foot hitting with the first beat of each measure of whatever song I'm listening to.  Must be a leftover from marching band in high school or something, but I tend to synchronize to it, so my left foot hits on beats one and three, in 4/4 time, which is probably 95% of the music I listen to while running.

Beats one and three are usually kick drum beats.  Which are harder, heavier sounding.  I paused the music, without changing my form.

Yup...I was almost STOMPING my left foot.  I never even noticed it with the music playing.  I was putting that foot down hard.  So I fired up the music again, but from now on truly thinking about my form and keeping my footfalls even.  Made all the difference in the world.  No numbness.

I'm going to end this here.  I've got more to write about, like the new weight program that I'm doing (which might even include a workout video with a fat guy and a bald guy...be on the lookout!), and the quest to quit smoking.  But just to bring things full circle...

Yup...Never gets old.

There's an update coming soon...

I promise.  Until then, just because it's fun...here's the space unicorn again.  Because hey, fucking unicorn, man!

35

What a ride.

I’m not one to wax poetic.  I don’t tend to experience the grand in the finite.  For me, a rose is a rose is a rose.  Symbolism, in my personal experience, is usually lost on me.  I can see it in movies, literature, music, etc, quite easily.  But in my day-to-day life, it goes unobserved.  That equation is never collapsed.  The symbolism cat is both alive AND dead.

Usually.

I watched game 7 this weekend.  Celtics-Heat, eastern conference finals.  The game that would decide which team earned the right to face the Oklahoma City Thunder in the NBA Finals.  

Oh yeah, I’m a Celtics fan.  That’s important to the narrative.  I have been since probably the 1984 Finals against the Rockets, although perhaps before that.  I most likely inherited it from my sister, 5 years older and a Celtics fan as a child as well.

Miami had taken a two games to none lead heading into Game 3.  Boston had been pretty soundly beaten in Game 1, and had a victory likely stolen from them in Game 2 by broken officiating.  A bitter defeat, to be sure.

The series came back to Boston, where they held serve in Games 3 and 4.  The Celtics then overcame the Heat in Game 5 in Miami.  Boston was firmly in command of the series after looking battered in the first two games.

Back to Boston for Game 6.  A game I felt the Celtics had to win.  They did not, and it wasn’t ever really close.

So the series was to return to Miami.  Game 7.  For the chance at Finals.  

I watched the game intently.  Boston built a decent lead in the first half, and Miami started chipping away in the third, with the wheels really coming off in the fourth.  Boston was out of answers.  No tricks left in the bag.

As the clock ticked down on their season and the starters pulled from the game with time left, I became somewhat introspective.  I started to think about this team.  From the lockout of the previous fall all the way to improbable and extremely enjoyable run in the playoffs.

This has been, without a doubt, my favorite group of Celtics players since the 1987 team.  Another team with a bitter loss in the playoffs (that Magic Johnson skyhook over Kevin McHale you see in all the highlight montages all the time...yeah...that team...although, it should be noted that McHale was basically playing on one foot by that point).

My mind returned to the acrimony of the lockout.  The dark cloud of possibility of a cancelled season.  Then, the lockout lifted and a short free-agency period and training camp followed.  The never-consummated trade of Rondo for Chris Paul.  The failed attempted signing of David West.  Jeff Green being lost for the season to a heart ailment.  A dark fog to start the season.

My mind was starting to see something.  What that was, I had no idea.

The veterans showed up out of shape.  It seemed as if they expected the lockout to wipe out the season.  They struggled at the beginning.  Flashes of brilliance, but nothing that stuck.  No tipping point.  The low point of that early season for me was a complete shellacking at the hands of the Chicago Bulls.  The Celtics were the Celtics of recent memory on paper alone.  The names on the stat sheet were familiar.  Rondo.  Pierce.  Garnett.  Allen.  The cadre that had steered the team through a 2008 championship and another Finals berth in 2010, stolen away from them by the arch-enemy Lakers, looked...old.  Failing.

The supporting cast had changed from year to year.  Browns and Wallaces and various O’Neals.  Poseys, Houses, Trick-or-Treat Tony, the Big Baby, Perkins and his never-changing scowl.  But those four.  The Cadre.  They were constant.

Trade talks started.  First for Rondo (who honestly never seems to be OUT of trade rumors), then Allen.  Pierce and Garnett were mentioned as well.  Even I started to think that a change was needed.

They were 15-17 at the midway point.

But this team, this team, minus an O’Neal, a Wilcox, added pieces.  Important ones.  Bradley, a furious ball-hawk and increasingly smart basketball player as the season went on, eventually becoming a starter.  Pietrus was added, as a smart defender and outside shooter.  A 26 year old rookie with two bad feet, Greg Stiemsma, provided shot-blocking off the bench.  Keyon Dooling, an NBA journeyman, and Sasha Pavlovic, past his prime, but still a hounding defender and passable shooter provided some stability to the second unit.

But changes needed to be made.

Changes always need to be made.  There’s those ties.  Thin gossamer strands of recognition.  Of familiarity.  I’m still not sure what my mind was reaching for.  It was making connections though, as my thoughts traversed the season.

After the all-star break, Garnett moved to the center position.  Possibly Boston’s most important offseason acquisition, Brandon Bass, stepped in to start at power forward.  Ray Allen moved to the bench, to provide offense and stability to the second unit.

They made a run.  They went from fighting for 8th place and a spot in the playoffs to control of the Atlantic Division.  Ray Allen’s bone spurs robbed him of many games, and the famous shooting form.  But it was ok.  Bradley was phenomenal as a starter.  Pietrus suffered a concussion, but Marquis Daniels was there to provide depth.

As they neared the playoffs, I fell in love with this team, and the first round against Atlanta solidified that.  Rondo and Pierce both delivered amazing spectacular games.  Pierce’s game with Rondo going through his suspension was sublime.  Basketball as art.

The series against Philadelphia was more of the same.  Each player stepping up in turns, Rondo navigating them all through the breakers.

And then, Bradley was injured.  His shoulder dislocating seemingly at will.  He tried to gut it out.  It was too much for him, too much for any basketball player, I’d wager.

Allen was back into the starting role.  Unfortunately, his shooting was still at a backup level.

There was no quit.  They finished Philadelphia off.

They just didn’t have the cards against Miami.  Every trick exhausted.  No more bar fights, all the grit and balls used up.  They left the court Saturday night not as champions, but not defeated either.  Not in my mind.  I’ll never forget this team, and what they’ve won, what they’ve achieved this season isn’t the kind of thing that can be measured in trophies.

I love this team.  And my mind wants to draw parallels.  It sees symbolism.  It wants me to think I’ve shared those struggles over the last year.  I can’t close those threads on my own.  I can’t make the links.  Not consciously.  I’ve been wrapped up in this team all year.  Living and dying with each shot.  Maybe I subconsciously WANT there to be metaphors.  Perhaps I see them as conquerors and with such respect because I want to see myself there as well.

I don’t know.  I’m not that deep.

A rose is a rose is a rose.

Learning How I Run

DISCLAIMER:  This is what works for me.  It probably won't work for anyone else, but it works for me.

Let's start with the couch to 5k program.  I've been all the way through this, or very nearly, three times now.  At the end of every one, I just couldn't run a 5k.  I couldn't do it.  Now I think I've figured out why.

The program is designed to get you running not so much for distance, but for time.  At least the way I did it.  Every run/walk interval is broken into sections.  Eventually the walk sections are discarded and you just run for a solid chunk.

This probably works great for the vast majority of people.  But, right now, running in one long continuous chunk like that just doesn't work for me.  To try and do a 5k like that would take me well over 40 minutes, as eventually I would be running so slow that I might as well be walking.

I have found what works for me, though.  I ran 5k in 35:56 this morning using it.  And I've used it for 2 weeks now.  I've actually run 6 5k lengths like this in the last 2 weeks, including the Race for the Cure.

The key for me is 10-minute sections.  For every ten minutes of running, I walk for at least 30 seconds.  This morning, for instance, I ran 10, walked 1, ran 10, walked 1, ran 10, walked 30 seconds, then ran to finish.  This pattern actually let me get my fastest time yet this morning.  In retrospect, Wednesday, I skipped the two middle walking portions, and ended up at 37:00.  I was thinking about the pattern this morning during the run, and really noticed that I was able to really keep a good pace during the running sections, where if I was just running constantly, my pace would drop continuously.

So I'm going to keep doing it this way.  Until I find something better.

More Useless Randomness

I've had some good running times this week.  36:10 on Monday morning for a 5k-equivalent, and 37:00 Wednesday morning.  Wednesday morning I ran in a thick fog, which was very interesting.  It was actually one of my best feeling runs ever, and I was surprised that it wasn't my best time ever, honestly.  Be interesting to see what time I put up tomorrow morning.

Next, eating healthy is obscenely expensive.  Fresh fruits and vegetables are pricey, where I can make a simple pasta and meatballs type dish for less than half the price using processed boxed ingredients.  Especially when I'm cooking for the whole family.  Well, for me and the kids.  Not sure when, if ever, I'll cook for a whole family again.

Sorry...that was a bit of a downer.

I'm also working on picking the next 5k.  Scheduling that is difficult, as I'm really looking for it to be a weekend where I don't have the kids, and lining that up with the 5k's that I've found is not going well.

I also need to get back into the weight training.  I haven't gone back to the Chalean program for fear of that left knee pain.  But I haven't tried too hard to find a replacement for it, either.  Chalean was nice because it really prevented boredom while doing the workouts, which is a pretty large barrier for me.  I might need to just suck it up and move on to another video-based workout, like the P90X deals.

Alright, that's really all I've got.  That and me riding a motorcycle:

Run, Jason, Run (My Experience at the Race for the Cure 2012)

So, Friday I ate pretty well, didn't go too crazy.  Was really thinking about the race the next day and preparing for it well.  I really thought I could get under 37 minutes for the race, although I would be happy with anything under 40, honestly.

I even got to sleep early, nodding off almost as soon as the Celtics game was over (side note...why are you trying to thread the needle on difficult passes with a 15 point lead...just make the easy pass).

I woke up a mess, though.  Just a crazy bundle of nervous anxious energy.

At 4:30 am.

I tried getting back to sleep for awhile, and did, but was definitely up for the day at 5:30.  I took a nice long shower, got everything together, and started getting ready to go.

At 6:30.  The race started at 10:05.  Yay.  I wanted to get to the fairgrounds around 9, and I was already ready to go at 6:30.  And FREAKING THE HELL OUT.  So I made myself a small, quick breakfast of a piece of toast and a scrambled egg and killed some time.

Around 7:45 I got in the car and headed to Rite Aid to grab some energy chew things for the race, to have while I was doing my walking breaks.  Rite Aid opens at nine.  I ended up at the Kinney Drugs and was able to find something.

Still freaking out a little, by the way.

I ended up at the fairgrounds around 8:40 or so, and walked in.  First thing I did was head for the bathrooms and quite possibly made that poor bathroom stall uninhabitable for the rest of the day.

Yeah, my stomach was a little...umm...well...the Edmund Fitzgerald wouldn't have made it through those waters either...

I ran into some work friends (Tim and Julie) and stopped to chat for a bit, then Terrie and Stacey.  I met up with Mike and Heather in the front of the Center of Progress building.  We hung out for a bit, watching the yahoos warming up on the stage, then found a nice grassy spot to do some stretching of our own.  Mike showed me a couple good stretches to try, and we lined up for the race.

This is where the wheels started to come off for the planners, in my opinion.

When you line up for the race, the runners line up according to their per-mile pace.  I lined up pretty far back, figuring around a 12-minute pace, which is what I've been doing.

The walkers were SUPPOSED to line up on the intersecting road, leaving the main road for the runners.  EXCEPT NONE OF THEM DID THAT.  There were over 1300 or so runners, I believe.  At least twice that number walking, from what I saw, as well.  They were all interspersed among the runners.  I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were lined up at or very near the front.

Mike, Heather and I all wished each other good luck, and they moved up farther in the starting area, as they are significantly faster runners than I.  I got my music started (I always try to start with "Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder...not sure why...just really like that one), got runkeeper ready on the phone, and waited for the bell.

They sent us off, and it took me at least 3 minutes of walking through the miasma of walkers to get just to the starting line.  But I couldn't even start running there, not yet.  Waaaay too much traffic from the walkers. In fact, I'd say it was at least a good two-tenths of a mile in before I could even get to my normal running pace, and throughout the whole race I wasn't able to keep that pace up without bobbing and weaving through the walkers.  A 5k is 3.1 miles, I actually ended up running 3.14 miles, just from dodging all the people throughout the race.

My plan was to keep the routine I had kept recently, run for 10, walk for 2, 10, 2, 10, 1 then run to finish.

After the first ten minutes I slowed down to walk, which also happened to be right at the first water station, a mile in.  I decided to pass on any water, but via all my dodging through traffic, I had managed to end up right next to the water table.

And I almost got taken out.  By a woman walking.  She had started on the other side of the road, and just turned and walked perpendicular to the flow to get to the table.  THEN SHE LOOKED AT ME TO GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK when I almost had to do a diving tuck and roll just to avoid getting plowed by her.

Sheesh.

Once I picked up running after my two minutes, it was time to move out of the fairgrounds proper and into the parking areas along State Fair Blvd and Interstate 695.  The sun by that point had really cranked up the temperature, a much higher one than I had run in during any of my training sessions.  It had an effect, definitely slowing me down somewhat, and I was losing pretty much any hydration I had achieved pre-race.  I grabbed water at the next station about 1.5 miles in.  Still passing walkers...shows you how many had lined up waaaaay ahead in the pack...I had run for roughly 1.3 miles of this route or better, and was still passing walkers, including one group that was like 8 wide walking arm-in-arm across the entire roadway.  It was with this water station that I learned that running and drinking at the same time is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO PULL OFF.  Seriously.  I was holding the water up to my face with one hand, and trying to just smash my mouth into the cup in hopes of ingesting some of the splash while running.  I'll probably stop to drink next time.

At the end of that 10 minutes I walked for only a minute thirty, this time remembering the energy chew things from Kinney's.  Evidently 'Energy' tastes like 'Regurgitated Dog Feces' to the people making these things.  Yikes.  I won't be bothering with those particular ones again.

At the end of my next ten minutes, I was around the 2.5 mile mark...well behind my training sessions.  It was hot, I was STILL PASSING WALKERS, and feeling a little dehydrated.  Evidently my 'smash mouth into cup while running' method hadn't worked out very well.  There were some positives.  I've had some cramping issues with my training sessions.  No cramps in this race.  I also had been keeping pace with an older gentleman who seemed to be doing a 3 minute run/30 second walk type routine, and he and I ended up going through almost the entire race within 10-20 yards of each other.  It felt like I had a running partner, somewhat.

So, after a 30 second or so walk, I was determined that I was going to be at least AROUND my training times, so for the last quarter of a mile or so, I picked up the pace, and when I rounded the last turn towards the finish line (STILL PASSING WALKERS, FOR CHRISSAKES...THIS TIME ALSO PASSING RUNNING YAHOOS THAT HAD TURNED BACK AROUND AFTER FINISHING AND WERE RUNNING BACK DOWN THE ROUTE...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD...), I decided it was time to really try to move quickly.  I moved up into full-on fat-guy sprint.  It must have been a sight.  Like the dog from Turner and Hooch bearing down on you.  If there were any small children near the finish line, I apologize for the nightmares you'll carry into your adulthood from seeing that.  It had to be all arms and legs and rolls and slobber flying everywhere.  Mike assured me that I didn't look like a complete moron.  Mike was just being nice, I'm sure.

As soon as I crossed, Mike (having already finished...his head shining like a lighthouse of hope...the hope of water and rest...and I mean that in a totally not-gay way, not that there's anything wrong with that...) was right there and ushered me to water and a shaded area to rest.

Mike, Heather and I hung out in the shade for a while, rehydrating and commiserating.

I had finished the race.  I had set out to do it, and did it.  In 37:47, which ended up being pretty much right on my training pace.  I wasn't even last in my division.  I was 35th.  Out of 37.  But hey, it wasn't last.  Numbers 36 and 37 were each quite a ways behind me.  And if I was in the 75-79 year old female division, I would have DESTROYED those bitches.

We headed back to the cars, and met back up at Dinosaur Barbeque for some well-deserved greasy food. It was possibly the best greasy food I have had in years.

I can't wait for the next race.

(Post-race crazy hair...Mike decided to point it out...had to take a picture.  I think it's more jealousy that I have such a beautiful thick mane of luxurious hair.)

Ok, So I've Been Lazy on Posting

There really hasn't been too awful much going on to write about.  I'll be doing some more Where's Potty? pictures soon, and another Masterpoo Theatre is in the wings.  And a couple weeks off (at least) there's a VERY SPECIAL Masterpoo Theatre coming, which I've been practicing for.

Mostly I've been training for this weekend's 5k at the NYS Fairgrounds.  It's the Komen Race For The Cure, and it'll the first 5k that I've done since the Great Race in the summer of 2010.

I won't get into what happened there, just know that it ended up being a horrible experience, and was one of the worst days I had ever happened before Amy left.  I'm trying not to think about it, as it's causing some anxiety for me for this weekend's race.

Now, let me get out there and say I'm not planning on being truly competitive.  I have a goal.  I want to be under 40 minutes (which is slow, sure, but my Great Race time was muuuuuch higher than that).  If I'm under 40 minutes I'll be extremely happy.  I've done two full-length 5k training runs in the last week or so, finishing one in 37:07 and the other in 37:48.  So I think being under-40 would be an attainable goal.

I do have an ambitious goal for this.  I'd like to be in the 35-36 minute range, ideally.  That's ambitious for me.  I think I could do it, but I'm not going to kill myself to make it happen, or beat myself up when it doesn't.

I have a running plan.  This has worked for me in my training runs extremely well.  I run for 10 minutes, walk for 2, run for 10, walk for 2, run for 10, walk for 1, then run to finish.  It has kept me pretty well energetic through the entire distance, which is important.  I might try to reduce those walks to 1 minute, but again, I will not push it.  I'm going to go completely by feel.  I won't go past 2 minutes, but if I'm not feeling good after 1 minute, I'll walk the full 2.

I also had the chance to play some basketball again last night.  My outside shooting was poor, at best, but I was able to get to my spots on the post and could get pretty much whatever shot I wanted inside.  My rebounding has also improved by being lighter and stronger.  I can get to many more rebounds now than I was before.  I'm also able to extend my defense out farther on the wings, as well, instead of goading guys to drive inside and put up blockable shots.

As far as the Chalean program, I haven't been doing it.  Every time I've tried to start it, the sumo squats burn up my left knee, and it's quite painful.  Once this weekend's race is done, I'm going to schedule the next race and continue the training for that.  In addition to that training, I'm going to cherry-pick some workouts to get back into the weight training.  I just can't do those sumo squats anymore, for whatever reason.

I might make a doctor's appointment, just for the heck of it, to see if there's something going on with that knee, although I'm sure it's just temporary and probably more about my form than anything else.  I'll also have the doc check out that left arm, which still gives me problems from time to time.

Anyway, until next time...

Anchorman 2 is Coming

The One Where I Didn't Intend to Run a Pseudo-5k...But Did

Yeah.  Kind of a 'holy shit' morning.

Let's backtrack.  Yesterday, when work was over, the rain was spitting a little.  I also knew that I was going to be running this morning (provided I didn't keep hitting 'snooze' for 2 hours).  So instead of trying to fit in a run between raindrops, I decided to just shelve the idea for last night.

I set the DVR for the Celtics game (nice win...I honestly was never really worried..I've seen this edition of the Celtics win exactly this type of game so many times in the last 4 years) and met a friend to catch a movie.  After the movie, I got home, watched the C's game, and went to bed.

After only an hour of pushing the 'snooze' button this morning, I decided to get up and bang out this run.  I sat at the computer long enough to polish off a tall glass of water, a couple ibuprofen and the morning vitamin, then got dressed for the run.  The bluetooth headphones weren't cooperating, so I had to use regular wired ones (sooo 2006...how do I manage?).

So I started off from my house with a decent walk for about 5 minutes with some stretches here and there, get blood moving.  During that time I was thinking about my run.  I knew I had said two 15-minute runs with a 3-minute walk in between, but that 10 minute interval from the previous run had just worked so well.  I decided to do a 10-minute run with a 2-minute walk break (instead of 3) then another 10.

I did just that.  It felt...well...it felt great.  Just incredible.  So, after the 2nd 10 minutes, I decided to take another 2 minute break then run some more.

I did that.  And it felt great.  When that 10 minutes was over, I thought "Well, eff it.  I've run this long and this far, I still feel good...I'll take a 1-minute walk break and keep going.  Maybe I'll do a full 5k".

And that's totally what happened.

http://runkeeper.com/user/cheeseisalifestyle/activity/87309793?&mobile=false <-- view the map! (runkeeper's embed code doesn't work)

I'm really....realllllly pumped right now about it.  I finished in a shade over 37 minutes, a time which, seriously, I'd be ecstatic about for the 5k in a little over a week.  Seriously, I would be really happy about it.

So I think I might have found my running technique.  10-minute intervals seem to be my magic number right now.  I never got that back soreness...never felt overly-fatigued...just went amazing.  I think my 5k plan will be 10-minute intervals with a minute or two walk in between.

I'm freaking pumped.  So here's me riding a space unicorn again:

I really like this one...

Finally Got Out for a Run

The planets all finally aligned yesterday.  No rain (it held off until about an hour after I ran), didn't need someone to watch the kids (they were with Amy, which sucks), and I had the time.

Now, I've basically had two weeks off from running.  When I had the time it was raining.  When it wasn't raining, for whatever reason, I couldn't run.  I've done a couple small runs in there, but nothing like I should have been doing.

Especially with a 5k in a week and a half.

So anyway, with the couch to 5k plan pretty well shot, I'm kinda winging it now.  I decided last night, that instead of trying to do a solid 25 minute or so run, which I probably couldn't do and would piss me off that I couldn't, I would do 2 10-minute runs at a decent clip, with a 3-minute walk in between.

That's exactly what I did.  And about half-way through that second run, I hit that magic moment where your body just starts going on automatic.  You don't even realize that it's happening until you realize that you've spent the last 5 minutes thinking about anything other than running, and not on purpose.

For instance, last night, my mind wandered to arcade cabinets.  Which it often does anyway, but last night I think I actually nailed down a design for my next arcade cabinet.  While running.  Once my mind got back to the running, I had efficiently burned off about 7 minutes worth of running.

So, here's my plan.  I basically have 8 days before the 5k.

Thursday (today):  Might fit in a one-mile 'fast' run.  I've done a couple of these, and I love them.  It's just one mile, but at a much faster pace than I normally run.  Might not have time today as I have something going on tonight, but I might be able to squeeze it in.

Friday (tomorrow):  This depends on if I can get my butt up early enough in the morning.  I really don't like running in the morning, but it's the only time I'll have to do it.  I'd like to do something similar to yesterday, this time two 15-minute runs separated by a 3-minute walk.

Saturday:  I might be able to get a one-miler in.  Maybe.

Sunday:  This will be another long one.  I'm thinking 20 minutes, 3 minute walk, 10 minutes.  This should end up being ALMOST a full 3 miles.

Monday:  One-miler.

Tuesday:  Same as Sunday.  This might be the plan I use for the 5k, except with a one-minute walk.

Wednesday:  Taking it off.

Thursday:  This will be my 5k dress-rehearsal.  I'll do 3.1 miles.  No matter how long it takes me.

Friday:  Taking it off, lots of water.  Maybe a pasta dinner.

Anyway, that's my plan.  Now I've never had a plan actually work, but I'm going to try hard with this one.  Here's to hoping.

Where's Potty #6

Flying blind on a Rocket Cycle.

FLASH!!! AHh AHHHHhhhh

(come on, you know you're singing that one in your head now)

Wheres Potty #5

Crowd surfing at Carolina Rebellion

Where's Potty #4

Getting water for Slash at Carolina Rebellion

Freaking Frustrated and Floundering

I have a 5k in two weeks.  I'm almost ready.  I should be ready by now.  Surprisingly, it's not due to laziness.  It's actually mostly out of my control.  It has rained lately.

Tons.

Shit-tons.

Pretty much every time I try to run.

I want to be ready for this 5k.  I really want to be able to knock it out of the park, which for me would mean running the whole thing with no walk breaks.  I am so close to that, but the weather has completely stymied my efforts.

Sure, I could have paid for a gym membership or something, but they don't take masterfully created mid-poo dramatic readings as payment.  At least, not any that I've found.  That would be pretty awesome.

This floundering affects my mood greatly.  I see myself failing at something I want so badly yet again.  It's a cycle I want to break so badly, one that I just can't seem to shake.  That floundering gets me back into my head.  Makes me dwell on my past.  The viscera of a ruined marriage and parenting mistakes and losing scholarships and all the rest of my failures attack my mind.  It's a like one of those 'these actors died this year' montages that they show at award shows, except it can go on for 35 years.  But all done in an instant.

Not an attack.  More like a blitzkrieg.

I just want to feel successful.  For more than a few fleeting moments.  To be able to point to something that was hard, that was a struggle, and say "I did that.  It was difficult and trying and I shouldn't have been able to do it, but I did".

I had that once, with my marriage.  It was us against the world.  We nailed it.  At least, that's what I thought.  I guess at some point for her it became her against me.  I never knew.  Not until it was so far gone for her that she wasn't even willing to try.

It's such a loss.  So painful.  Another moment for the montage.

I don't like that montage.  I want a new one.  One with my successes.  That montage used to be my marriage and my children.  It was all I ever wanted.  It would always overpower the other.  Is it wrong when a man's real life goal is to be the best father and husband he can be?  I've been told that lately.  It feels wrong.  What's more noble than that?  Sure, I'd like to be a better basketball player and to pursue photography more, but that's not who I want to be.  That's secondary.  I want to be the best father and husband I can be.  That's the greatest legacy I can think of.  What's wrong with that?

I don't know.  And I guess I'm  rambling now.

MasterPoo Theatre #3: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Where's Potty? #3

Getting attacked by a bear while falling down a waterfall.

Seriously...I'm a complete dipshit...but these are cracking me up.

Where's Potty #2

Photobombing Michael Knight at Mt. Rushmore.

Where's Potty? #1

So...my son's potty chair seems to get around...showing up in pictures all over the place.  This time, he's out west with Mike and Heather!

Stream of...not Consciousness...well Whatever...

I don't like stickers.  Not one bit.

I miss eating like a fat guy sometimes.  Being able to just make or get something without having to think about it's value...it's liberating.

The guy that sits next to me at work hates Masterpoo Theatre.  Says it makes him uncomfortable.  I think he's just covering up for something.

I feel like, no matter what decision I make, it will ultimately be the wrong one, and that's a heavy burden sometimes.

The variety of sounds people make when they sneeze fascinate me.  Some people are somewhat mute, reserved...other people could use that sound as their superpower.  I've heard people create sneeze sounds that I'm pretty sure would incapacitate children and most dogs.

Scott doesn't have time for my shit.

Steph hates Muppets.  And then she tried to backtrack somewhat by saying "fyi - I watched the Muppet Babies cartoon religiously!  And I was 15 by then.  Or doesn't that count?  I can still sing the theme song.  I won't, but I could."  My response was 'That's like Goebbels saying "Sure, I gassed a bunch of them, but I love their bagels".'

Those two things aren't really similar in any respect.  Most likely downright offensive to many people.  See statement four.

This run by the Celtics since the all-star break has just been downright amazing.  They almost completely re-invented themselves.  I was not a big fan of Doc Rivers when he was brought on as the coach way back when, but he is definitely the right coach for this team at this time.

Why do some women walk like they are attacking the floor?  Like the floor burned their village and raped their mother when they were kids?  Seriously...you're like 130 pounds and you sound louder walking than I do, even when you are in sneakers.

The weather lately has sucked for running.  I actually begged off my scheduled run for last night, as intermittently throughout the day we had been getting surprise rain storms.  But I'm still on track, I think.  I got out Sunday for a good long run, but made the mistake of hitting the steepest incline RIGHT AT THE END OF MY RUN.  It was bad.  Pretty sure I was running slower than I could have walked it.  I only had a minute left, so I cut it off before my heart exploded.  It kinda looked like this:

MasterPoo Theatre #2: Braveheart

I apologize...not good with accents yet.

Masterpoo Theatre #1: The Shawshank Redemption

This might be my greatest idea ever. NOW WITH IMPROVED SOUND!

Good Days and Bad

I'm trying.  I really am.

I have good days and bad.  The last post...that was a bad day.

But, I have had some good stuff happen, I guess.  I received some good news on my financial front (a story for another post).  I also received some shirts and shorts from a coworker's husband, stuff he couldn't use anymore.  The shorts were mostly size 36, a size I didn't think I was anywhere near.

This is what I expected.

For shits and giggles, I tried them anyway.  They fit, no problem.  No wrangling and laying down or anything like that.  Just slid them up and buttoned.

So it's time to get back to what was working for me.

Firstly, though, is my left knee.  Last week during Burn Circuit 3, I hyper-extended it a little.  It was pretty painful and spent the weekend pretty swelled up.  So the Chalean program is taking a break this week while I make sure that knee is back up to par.  That may also be why my run Friday fell apart so badly.  Perhaps I was compensating for it without trying to and working harder than I needed to be.  That's just speculation though.

I couldn't run last night, due to time and rain constraints, but I will tonight, and I'm looking forward to it.

Learning to Remember Who I Am

I had been feeling pretty good about myself.

But, life has a way of reminding you.  Expectations vs. Reality.

This has been a very hard week.  With every win, there's been two bigger losses.  I'm down to 278.  Which means I've lost 8 pounds since last week.  Many people at work, friends of mine, were very complimentary to me this week about the weight loss.  It's noticeable.

I started the Chalean program a week early, just out of boredom.  And I crushed it the first two workouts.  The third one, Burn Circuit 3, struck back.  I hyperextended my knee about halfway through.  I had to cut off the last exercise group, which upset me.

I played basketball last night.  It'll be the last time with that group until it gets cold again.

I sucked.  Really.  Just terrible.  It's the worst I've played in a long time.  I should be better now.  At least not worse.  I can play harder and jump higher.  But my shot is gone, and my defensive instincts have seem to completely left me.  I was routinely beaten last night by moves that I used to be able to anticipate.  The only thing I could do to contribute was to make sure I got all the rebounds, which I did relatively well.

Then there's the car.  Massive fuel leaks.  From the lines on either side of the filter, from the sending unit on the top of the gas tank as well.  Also, one of the frame mounts was rotted off.  I could only afford to fix the lines and the frame mount.  The tank and sending unit will have to wait.

This was also week 5 of the couch to 5k program.  I crushed the first two sessions.  Today was the final one of the week.  The first one that was a full run, the whole time.  No walking sessions.  I was really pumped for it.  I just knew I was going to knock it out.

It didn't work out that way.

I ran for the first 12 minutes.  After that...I just couldn't do it.  I didn't have it in me.  It was supposed to be 20 full minutes of running.  In the program, the longest so far had been 8 minutes, which I did Wednesday with no problem.

But I couldn't do it today.  I failed.  And I failed hard.

I'm reminded.  Of who I am.  A man who lost his wife, and has his kids 50 per cent of the time.  I'm pretty much broke, left with two incomes worth of bills and only one income.  And I'm alone.  It sucks.  I'm tired of it.  I feel like every time I try to do something about it, life will remind me.

This is who I am.  Unfortunately, some days, it feels like all I'll ever be.

Wow, this was uplifting.  Sorry.

Burn Circuit 2 Redux

Last night was Burn Circuit 2.  I had mostly forgotten the exercises in this circuit.  They're all very taxing on your shoulders and back.  That means two things.

First, your form needs to be spot on.  Secondly, you're going to be sore.

And I am today.  My back and shoulders are extremely tight and sore.  My back mainly because my form was suspect on many exercises.  The running has made my legs more sore than the first time I went through this program, and I was in turn unconsciously compensating by not attaining a flat back for most of the row exercises.  When you do that, your back suffers.  It was enough that I had to pull back on one of the row exercises, only doing 8 reps.

I am, however, considerably stronger than I was the first time.  The first time through in Burn Circuit 2, there's a group of push-ups that I never was able to do on my toes.  Not a single rep.  This time, I did eight on my toes.  That's a big change, I think.

My flexibility is also much improved.  I can go much lower in many of the lunging type exercises, and in the stretches before and after each workout.

My weight loss has somewhat plateaued recently.  Mainly because I haven't been eating as well as I should have.  Unfortunately, money is going to be tight for the next month or two, and eating healthy is damn expensive.  I'll just have to keep a better eye on intake.

And, solely because I haven't done one in quite some time, here's a drawing:

Me riding a Space Unicorn.

Eagle Shots and Back to Work

So, this past weekend was Easter weekend.  The kids were with Amy for the weekend, so I was stuck looking for things to do.  Friday afternoon (had it off due to Good Friday), I worked on the HDR shots from the night before and checked out a blues band at Suzy's.  Saturday was tough.  I pretty much just finished up grocery shopping and did a bunch of cleaning around the house.  Mike texted me and said he knew a good place for some shooting the next morning.  So Sunday morning, Mike stopped by around 8:30 and we got under way for a place called Mud Lock on Cayuga Lake.  I think it was Cayuga.  It was definitely a lake.  Well.  It was at the end of a lake.  Shut up.

So we got there, and immediately saw the bald eagle nest atop a man made tower.  There were a nesting pair, a male and the much larger female.  I switched to my 75-300mm canon telephoto lens, which is a super-cheap lens, cranked up the ISO some to get a super-fast shutter speed, and decided to get some shots.  There were a few guys already there with REALLY IMPRESSIVE lenses.  Lenses I want.  Really badly.  Anyway, here are the shots I got.

Mike waiting for action from the eagles.

After we were done at the lock, we headed over to the Montezuma Wildlife Refuge.  Which I'm sure is exciting for many people.  Like, Mike, for instance.  Who got REALLY excited for a crane right near the entrance.  Not a mechanical crane, but a bird.  Which, yeah, I guess if you didn't grow up with them on the shore nearly every morning (like I did), it's exciting.

So we got up to the little visitor's center and hung out a bit.  A volunteer came out and started in on all kinds of crazy bird stuff.  He was saying stuff like "There's blah-blah beaked honey crested blah blah" and in my head all I'm hearing is "birds birds birds birds".  He was pretty excited about it.  Mike asked about the birds in the picture above, and the guy just said "Yeah, those are swallows".  He seemed a little let down that we obviously didn't share his excitement.  We walked a little ways to an observation tower.  And looked at birds.  And grass.  And birds.  And water.  And birds...in the grass.  And birds...in the water.

woohoo...

We then got back in Mike's car and headed over a little boat launch area for a final few pics.

So that was my Sunday morning.  It was a really good time.

But....

I was kinda bored in the afternoon.  I decided that I wasn't going to sit out a full two weeks before starting back up the Chalean Extreme program again, and fired up Burn Circuit 1.  And this time, I was going to do good before/after pics.

Ignore the potty chair.

Potty chair.  Again.  Stupid potty chair.

I did notice some things being different this time to last time.  Firstly, I need to up the weights across the board.  Secondly, I'm MUCH more flexible in these exercises, able to go to much farther in my range of motion.

Anyway, I'm back into the workouts, and pumped for it.

Happy Easter, Steph

Kate Upton...this is MILES better than her Carl's Jr. ad.

HDR Experiment

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a fan of most HDR images.  They just tend to look goofy to me.  Now, the way I manipulate my images sometimes brings about an HDR (high dynamic range) effect, but that's not intentional.  It just kind of works out that way.

An HDR image is usually multiple images merged into one.  The images are bracketed at different exposures, and those exposures are put together so that you end up with an image that is supposedly the best overall exposure for the entire scene, preserving all the highlights without having any that are overly blown out.

Last night, with nothing really to do, I was browsing on the facebook, and saw that Mike had put a picture of the moon up.  Mike recently bought a nice ILC camera, and is immersing himself in this disease as well.  I thought, well damn, this is a really clear night...I should get out and give this a try.  I sent Mike a message and asked if he was down for some shooting, and he was in.  I met him at the Wegman's parking lot, and we scoped out some sites to shoot from.  We started on the top of the downtown parking garage, then headed more downtown to finish up.  Here are my shots (Mike hasn't posted any to his blog, dummy):

This one actually isn't HDR, but I like the light trails.