1. Airwolf. Yeah, bitches. A STEALTH HELICOPTER. Because, hey, STEALTH F-IN' HELICOPTER, MAN! And not a toy one. That's just dumb. I'll need a mechanic for it too, because shit was breaking down constantly in the show (foreshadowing? 'cause Jan-Micheal Vincent hasn't held up too well. Probably because he has two first names. His parents' indecisiveness screwed that poor bastard. Indecisiveness or plain presumption on their parts? Did they think "Hey, this dude is gonna pilot the MOST BADASS TELEVISION HELICOPTER EVER. Mofo needs two first names." One just ain't gonna cut it. Or they were French.)
Anyway, back to the mechanic. I think the hot one from Knight Rider could fix me up, if you know what I mean. Unless her parents gave her two first names and her face is all busted up now too. Just not Ernest Borgnine, because, you know...weird. Pretty sure Corpse Ernest Borgnine is a shitty mechanic.
2. A Barn that I can angry-rage-dance in for when my girlfriend's father outlaws bad 80's dancing in my small midwestern town.
Of course, I probably need a girlfriend first. And to live in a small midwestern town. Pretty sure that image is from Footloose. Although with that hair, it could be Hugh Jackman's Wolverine. I don't remember Wolverine ever rage-dancing in a barn, though. That would be the bad-ass-est barn rage dance ever though.
3. Buck Rogers's starfighter from Buck Rogers. The TV show.
Yup...pretty sweet. Like...the angriest wedge of cheese with guns. Guys that fly angry cheese wedges get to nail Col. Wilma Deering.
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| Uhh...whatcha lookin' at there Wilma? See what I mean, though? She likes the dick. Even old guy dick. He probably flies cheese too. But he's older, so he doesn't get wedges. Probably more like...loaves of aged Gouda. |
