Yesterday I rested.
It was good.
But, I also did some research. I knew that I would need more handles for my resistance bands. My bands have little loops on the end that clip to the handles. Every pair of handles I could find locally didn't use a latch like that. They had this crazy little notch that a nub on the end of the bands locked into.
That wouldn't work for me.
It was time to get the good old north country redneck wheels turning.
When I bought this house, I purchased from a little old lady (who honestly...was a little batshit crazy...but that's another story). In the basement of this house, she left EVERY HANDLE TO EVERY BROOMSTICK, SHOVEL, AXE, LONG-HANDLED TOOL OF EVERY KIND THAT SHE HAD EVER HAD IN HER LIFE. I'm not kidding. I've used these things over and over in various half-baked redneck ideas.
Well, I had another half-baked redneck idea. I could make handles. I would need 4. I could take one of the old broomstick handles, and cut 4 equal lengths of it. Then, with a pilot bit that I had left over from a previous "ADVENTURE WITH JASON IN MOST-LIKELY-WILL-FAIL HOUSE REPAIR" (at least they usually fail spectacularly...or succeed spectacularly...like the time my brother-in-law and I built a deck that smelled like delicious buttered popcorn for three days...), I would drill a hole all the way through the pieces. Then, I could run a strong shoelace through, tie the ends together, and get one of those carabiners (or D-Clip, thanks John) to attach to the bands.
The first one went very well.
The rest...did not. Well, the next two anyway. It's REALLY HARD to drill through the equivalent of a 1 inch diameter dowel eight inches deep with a handheld drill. I clamped those suckers tight and everything, but without a drill press, it just wasn't going to happen.
But, I'm nothing if not hard-headed. I had little eye-bolts. I could screw one into each end, and then run the shoelace through that instead. Easy peasey japanesey. It actually worked really well. After scrounging for carabiners, finding two in the basement, one at work (thanks Pete and Tim) and one at Rite Aid, I was ready to use my North Country Resistance Band Leftover Broomstick Handle Handles (patent pending?). Total cost: 2.59 for one carabiner at Rite Aid, and one small bruise on my gut from when the table saw sent one of the cuts flying at me just after it had cut all the way through the handle. Yes, Dad, I did have the depth of the saw blade set correctly. And yes, Dad, I was using the guard.
Yup. Totally looks like it belongs on the Red Green Show. But they worked. I only had to re-knot one handle once, then it was good to go.
So that was how I spent my lunch hour. I also had time to get down a protein shake, which I'm actually starting to grow fond of.
After work, I cooked up a dinner of turkey meatballs, whole grain pasta in alfredo sauce and a spinach salad. Did I mention that my kids LOVE fresh spinach? I know! Holy crap! That's exciting. Pretty sure we'll be having a spinach salad with every meal now.
Conrad and I had practice, which went very well, then came home. I got the boys to bed and fired up...drum roll...Day 3: Burn Circuit 2.
Now, let me just say that I was still REALLY sore from day 1.
Bowler's Lunge with Single Arm Row.
Yeah, you stand like you just bowled a bowling ball, then dip, and then do a row with the weight or resistance band in one hand. You're REALLY off-balance here, and the result is killer. It really is amazing. What ends up happening is all your weight is on your hip pushing out. You do 6 on the right side, then 6 on the left side. Now, I'm not an accomplished bowler, but I've played in a league before, so I don't look like a complete moron...when I'm on the right side.
On the left side...let's just say Parker Bohn III would not be impressed with my form. (Seriously...how great a name is that? If I were a porn actor...that's probably the name I would have picked for my dick. And yes, I only threw that in there so that I could make the porn joke. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!)
But yeah, I was a mess. I made it through, though.
Biceps Curl with Abductor Balance.
Yeah, a biceps curl. Pretty normal, right? Well this one you do WHILE STANDING ON ONE FOOT. And not with your other leg bent at the knee. Oh no. You lean to the side like you do when you're walking somewhere and you have to poop really badly and are afraid that you're gonna lose it if you so much as think about bending your knees.
So...here's how it goes. You stand with both feet on the band shoulder-width or a little better apart. Then you do the poo lean. Once you're at full lean, you do a curl, slowwwwwly and bring it down slowwwwwly. Once all that is finished, you can stand back normal. Then repeat doing the poo lean to the other side.
What happens here is that not only are you fighting the band with your arms, but while you're at full poo lean, you're also fighting it with your extended leg. Here's a picture of me doing it:
Honestly...you'll feel this exercise. Alot.
Anyway...It was a good workout. I'm sweaty and tired. So good night. Tomorrow is Burn Intervals and Ab Burner, whatever the hell those are.
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