A Ten Things List - In Honor of Steph, Who Did a Tapout Thing Today

10.  Gravy

So many applications here.  Sausage gravy on biscuits.  Brown gravy and cheese curds on french fries.  Turkey gra-...no...fuck that.  Turkey gravy is the Dana Plato of the Diff'rent Strokes Gravy Family.  Wrong color, not interesting in any way, and nobody notices when it's not there.

Sausage makes anything better.

It tastes like happiness and rainbows and unicorn spit.

Seriously...this is Dana "Turkey Gravy" Plato...who evidently did Playboy.  Who knew?

9.  Oddly Large Furniture

Not pieces that are obscenely large...just a little slightly too big.  My couch for example...the arms on it are just too wide and too high.

8.  Stephen Hawking  and Malcolm Gladwell Books

Pretty sure Hawking never did Playboy.

Gladwell probably hasn't either.

7.  Bacon.

Seriously...I'm not going to explain this.  Just examine the following glory:

Giggity

6.  Yoga Pants

Used judiciously, of course.

Not like this...of course, shout-out to theChive.com, love that site.

Much better.

5.  FIIIIIIVE GOLLLLLDENNN TOQUESSS

4.  Houseplants.

3.  Shatner Doing Anything.  Same with Christopher Walken.

Cooking with Christopher Walken from Christopher Walken

2.  Jiggly Animated GIFS.  Steph...click HERE to bypass this.  I know you get all weird.

1.  HAHAHHAHA...I GOT STEPH EITHER WAY!

The Greater Fool

Hang with me here...this might ramble a bit.  Well, more than usual, I guess.

The Greater Fool is, simply, the guy everyone wants to know.  He's the person that's willing to put himself on the edge of the abyss.  The one that makes the choice to put himself into the position to sink or swim, and not let it just happen to him.  Through their actions, everyone else gets to see the outcome of the choice and prosper from it or avoid it altogether.

In that previous sentence is my favorite word.  Choice.  Choice is all that we really have.  Everything that we are, everything that we've done, everything that has ever been produced from the engine of human consciousness is derived from choices.  I don't believe in accidents.  They are the culmination of a series of choices, whether we were cognizant of the choices at the time or not.

The Greater Fool is probably always aware of his choices.  Also, likely always willing to stand behind them to take credit or blame.  The Greater Fool will always get back up from the failures to push to new trials, and never bask in the glory of successes long enough to miss the next chance to fuck himself over.

They are the best of us.  They are the risk-takers.  They are the ones that make the choices and know they're being made at the time.

I want to be a Greater Fool.  I really do.  For so long, I've been the Lesser Fool.  The one that knows his choices, and makes them expecting the worst.  And almost always getting it, the self-fulfilling prophecy endures.  I want to stop justifying my choices.  I don't even want to feel the need to justify choice anymore.  I just want to choose, and sink or swim with that choice.  I don't want to feel snared by the trap of imagined consequence anymore.  I just want to fail or succeed, and be in line to make the next choice.